Whee..
That’s the expression Brother Bear taught and reminded me whenever he is elated or in a euphoric slate. I used to feel that, I used to bask into that moment. I used to… I used to…
These days, whee moments come by so elusive. Where have all these whee moments gone?
Blog entries and poems are different. With blog entries, I don’t need to find the exact words. I don’t need to find colorful words. What I lack is thinking, finding of the right, colorful, precise words for what I want to say. As Kevinski typed, one word at a time. Here’s a try:
I’m trying to put my thoughts into words
And then it stops, it all stops
Nothing, no word is ever going out of my head now
Not anything that I can put into these piece
Hahaiz… That’s all I can make, for now, I guess. I am such a loser, a disappointment. I guess I haven’t tried enough. Or I guess, this is just what I can do for now, or maybe ever.
pero dkuuuuu inspired!! damn!!!!This is not my post, rather, this is Kevinski’s FB status post today. I used to write poems and songs during my high school years and in my early college years. I’ve collected them all in my thick notebooks. I’ve read and reread them countless times and recall the emotion I put in each of the works I did. I remember having these poems about the changes in my life, about someone else’s life, about a story, about events mostly. It was a chronicle of my life, the events of my life, etc. I have about 4 notebooks of it, all pages filled with my words, my thoughts. But now, I couldn’t even finish a stanza or make an article at that. Is it the lack of inspiration, as what Kevinski had posted? Lack of motivation? The drive? Or the literary drought that some would say they had experienced as well. It is definitely not the stress. I could make a short post or a one-line status on FB but I wouldn’t. Its not me to share even a short, intimate detail of my private life to the world.
Lack of motivation? Maybe. Stress? A lot. Overworked? Partly.
I think I have said and opened up too much.
We are creatures of habit. We have things we can’t live without. I’m not talking about persons, its things. It can also be habits. For me, coming home after a tiring day would also mean a weary and smelly body enough to solicit a half bath. At times though, I struggle whether to take a whole body bath or just the half body or none at all. It is a play of the mind, a struggle of need and laziness.
I have one particular kid who runs from the gate to our room, opens the door after knocking then says, “Good morning Teacher _____, good morning Teacher _____, good morning classmates.” Turns around, goes out of the room and gets her bag from her grandma. Its like that every morning. After putting her bag in her cubby hole, she sits on her chair, looks around as if absorbing the fact that she’s in the classroom already and getting ready for the day’s lessons. And she’s a very pretty kid.
Though I had a tiring week and I could have spent it with my books, or some series marathon or just lying back on my bed, I still just and went for music practice tonight. Yet, it was all worth it. I had a jamming session with one of my bass guitar teacher and ghad I missed jamming with him. I had a little difficulty adjusting to the beat and the strum of the bass guitar, seemed as though my fingers have hardened. I need lots of practice on the bass nowadays. Hmp.. But it was good though, so good. Even had a little, spontaneous get-together at the street before I went home. TYL.
Not that I have nothing to do. I have things to do in fact but have no interest in doing or accomplishing one or a few of those. Why? Tired? Burned out?
I brought DVDs again tonight, out of boredom and out of something for a change. I once said that I will probably not like this particular tv series nor even buy one of its season yet here I am in front of my laptop screen watching at it. Boredom eh??
Tomorrow is another day, a seminar to attend to, my throbbing head, my growling tummy. Another awakening, I hope.