fly with mhe

My boss said I have experiences of vertigo lately. It may be a big word, but I’d like to say that I am just experiencing slight dizziness sometimes. It is  a balance disorder, the sensation of spinning or swaying while the body is actually stationary with respect to the surroundings. You guessed it right, due to work-related stress, short sleeping hours, short rest time, not eating ice cream as often as I wanted to. Hehe.. Kidding.. Well.. The dizziness and late night sleep due to some work-related works that I have to made me use my glasses often, have some food eside me if I could buy one before I go home, frequent trips to the kitchen to drink water and earphones attached to my ears for company. This may be just this time and until the month is over. Next month is another adventure, another challenge with my students, both preschoolers and those that have special needs. Another learning experience, another opportunity to get to know them better, learn about their ways and on how to deal and address their needs while they are still under my tutelage. Teaching is fun and fulfilling.

I will survive. I will somehow survive.

Read this line somewhere, “When your student hurt you, do not hurt him back. Hurt the other student instead”. Haha.. Unreasonable.. Okay okay.. I’m just tired right now. Thinking up of reasons why I don’t want to go to work today or handle my MR student. For one, she would be hyperactive again this time. Yesterday, I had to restrain her feet so she won’t kick me or lie on the floor. I must say, she made me weary after almost an hour of doing that. I felt like I had a workout in the gym, except that my dumbells were her feet and strength. Hahayz.. Sometimes, I just want to sit with her in our room and not say anything, not try to teach her anything and just stare blankly at her, see her smile for no reason at all. Glad my other 2 students weren’t as tough as her yesterday.

With the entries I posted, I’m sure you’ve come to know the nature of my income generating job. You’ve known of the struggles I endured to defend myself though there were times that I wasn’t successful. I get to receive punches, kicks, spits, slaps, shoes thrown, etc. every now and then and I just address it as part of the job. Why? Because even if I wanted so much to restrain, scold or punish her, she wouldn’t even understand why I had to do it nor would she understand that it hurts. Unless maybe if  I do to her what she does to me, revenge. NO, can’t. With the case of the ADHD kid, it was his impulses that made him do it. And that’s what he is trying to control. That’s why he is my student. Patience is an essential virtue in my line of work, much patience that is. Even if my student had punched me on the head 5 times, 2 on my back, 1 on my right temple, 1 on my right jaw and 1 on my face, I could only cry from the pain. I could not hit her back or restrain her with my anger, I might hurt her and I don’t want to do that. My license will also be at stake. I just don’t want to mind it and concentrate more on how I can help my students. Even if sometimes, waking up to another teaching day is hard, much more when upon entering the gate, my students would then show hyperactive gestures. Expect that I’d be stern with my ADHD kid and merciful with my MR student. My Bipolar student was also different, I still had to get to know her more. As well as my other 2 students who were not so difficult to deal with anyway.

I am very glad we have Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. I sometimes wish that there won’t be Tuesdays and Thursdays to deal with. Hehe.. I’m glad there’s Fridays to end the workweek. Saturdays and Sundays to wake up late, have some alone, quiet time without my students, leisure, meet up with the youths, jam with them and be recharged.

Thankful also to the food that relieves my stress, even if it makes me fat.

Finally, I’m done with my reports, but not after watching Star Trek 6 : Undiscovered Country. Hehe.. To say, I rewarded myself in advance with this one.

Back to my topic, made 3-pages and 4-pages report per child and another 2-pages for a new one. Much browsing, scanning and reading through preferences like books, notes, articles on the net, even previous reports I made for my old student and reports from other professionals forwarded to me. Tedious job we say but necessary for the child’s progress, where the child is right now, his needs and capabilities. More so, getting to know the child more and knowing where best to develop and address his skills or learning.

Finished my report at 4AM with some background music from my stored files. In the morning however, continued my reward of finishing the Star Trek movies my brother had in his computer. Watched Star Trek 8 : First Contact and Star Trek 9 : Insurrection. Great movies to watch on a break though.

When we started our class, my student was talkative and was her usual self. 1o minutes into our time, she wouldn’t do the task I asked her to do. She was blabbering about the chalk, about standing up, kicked her shoes, slapped me with the book and threw the manipulative tool. Suddenly she sobbed and said something about spanking. It was about halfway on our class. I didn’t get her so I tried to appease by comforting her. She stopped for a while. Slumped on her chair, looked at me and said something inaudible again. Sobbed some more. This time she was really in tears and her eyes were red and wouldn’t stop crying. She just hugged me all those times while saying something.

I told her Nanang about it and found out that she was spanked by her older brother last night. Pitiful girl. She felt the rejection but couldn’t understand why she was beaten. She has feelings, genuine feelings. Children with mental retardation does. They just don’t know how to understand and express it appropriately.